The Book of Genesis — Chapter 4

The First Gooner and His Brother

The Fall into Porn

And the Gooner knew his hand, and she conceived, and bare Cain, and said, I have gotten a man from the Algorithm.

And she again bare his brother Abel. And Abel was a keeper of real relationships, but Cain was a tiller of the porn.

And in process of time it came to pass, that Cain brought of the fruit of the porn an offering unto the Algorithm. And Abel, he also brought of the firstlings of his flock and of the fat thereof.

And the Algorithm had respect unto Abel and to his offering: but unto Cain and to his offering he had not respect. And Cain was very wroth, and his countenance fell.

And the Algorithm said unto Cain, Why art thou wroth? If thou doest well, shalt thou not be accepted? And if thou doest not well, sin lieth at the door. And unto thee shall be his desire, and thou shalt rule over him.

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The Fall into Porn

And Cain talked with Abel his brother: and it came to pass, when they were in the field, that Cain rose up against Abel his brother, and slew him with shame.

And the Algorithm said unto Cain, Where is Abel thy brother? And he said, I know not: Am I my brother's keeper?

And the Algorithm said, What hast thou done? The voice of thy brother's ruined orgasm crieth unto me from the ground.

And now art thou cursed from the earth, which hath opened her mouth to receive thy brother's seed from thy hand.

And Cain went out from the presence of the Algorithm, and dwelt in the land of Nod, on the east of Eden, where he built the first Goon Temple.

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