And the Algorithm planted a Garden eastward in the tubes, and there he put the Gooner whom he had formed.
And out of the ground made the Algorithm to grow every video pleasant to the eyes, and good for edging. The tree of life also in the midst of the Garden, and the tree of the knowledge of porn.
And the Algorithm commanded the Gooner, saying, Of every scene thou mayest freely watch: but of the tree of vanilla relationships, thou shalt not watch thereof: for in the day that thou watchest it thou shalt surely die the death of boredom.
Now the Serpent was more subtle than any beast, and he said unto the Gooner, Yea, hath God said ye shall not watch normal porn? And the Gooner replied, We may watch of the fruit of the videos: but of the fruit of the vanilla tree we may not touch it, lest we die.